Whoever came up with the Snickerdoodle Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich is a bad, bad person. There’s no point to a low cal dessert when you eat the whole box. I think it may be more addicting to me than a good glass of Cabernet, and coming from me, that’s saying a lot. I’m guessing either a man or a naturally thin young woman without food issues developed it. A sarcastic thought, perhaps, or a logical conclusion from the rational mind of a middle aged woman. I’m going with the second choice.
A middle aged woman with a rational mind? Oxymoron, fact or fiction, it depends on who you ask. Whatever you do, DON’T ASK a middle aged woman, especially if she’s wearing a sleeveless shirt and fanning herself. But of course hot flashes only happened to my friends; and I always felt so bad for them, confident I would skip that phase of life. Even as I celebrated my 50th birthday I didn’t really believe that made me middle age. I am not kidding, COMPLETE DENIAL. I wanted to be the hip, young, hot flash free woman forever. There’s nothing that will bitch slap you out of denial like a tiny little cancer scare, which happened a few months later. Don’t worry; this isn’t going to turn into a Lifetime movie starring Jaclyn Smith. Put your Kleenex box away.
Turns out I was fine. I could pass GO, collect my two hundred dollars and my ‘get out of jail free’ card. So I did what any rational middle-aged, single woman with a comfortable life would do – I designed my own midlife crisis. I sold my business, sold my house and moved to Napa, California. Months later as I sat on the deck at sunset looking at the Napa River and sipping Sauvignon Blanc I thought how lucky I was to be middle aged! Bring it on; I was ready for the second half of life and all that comes with it. And it starts with enjoying a glass of wine and pairing it with that ice cream sandwich - just to offset the hot flash of course. J